If I talked to my wife this way...

not only would she not make me coffee, I wouldn't be getting "anything" for my birthday. It's a good thing that I don't drink coffee.

Miracle diet of the ages!!!

Imagine eating everything you wanted and never having to worry about gaining weight.  Well, people could with these wonderful jar packed, sanitized tape worms.  At least they're easy to swallow!

Ruining Self Esteem one dress at a time

I know that Lane Bryant is marketed to women with curves.  I didn't know that they called their customers Chubbies!  I feel bad for the little girls that had their feelings hurt by ads like this one. 

They like that you keep your Oncologist in business...

A doctor today would never suggest that you smoke a certain brand of cigarettes.  Camel did it though.  The guy probably became an Oncologist to help the people that he helped become cancer ridden. 

It's time to start your Christmas Shopping.

This one is a little bit sexist, but it definitely would make Christmas shopping easier.  Guys seem to never know what their wives want, but this can save some time.  Just don't get it too many tears on it and make the pictures blurry.

It's funny cause my name is Dave

I didn't know that Lysol could be use as a feminine hygiene product!  Holy Crap!  No wonder Dave locked her out.  She has germy lady parts.

It's true...they care about good looks.

I think this Palmolive soap ad could easily be used today.  It's true.  Guys don't care as much if a woman is clever.  They want her to look pretty.  She could easily be an attorney or a doctor, but if she's an ugly one, most guys will not look twice.

The Christmas-card carton! Less Coal, More Tar!

Obama gets a lot of slack for smoking in the White House, but he's not the only president that wanted a cigarette while in the Oval Office.

But don't let a baby play with matches.

Classic Marlboro ad showing us that they used babies to advertise.  And they say they don't market to the underaged.

It's a good thing, considering my budget.

Comparing a car to a woman is not a new thing.  The old Cords and Duesenbergs used to talk about the curves of the car and liken them to a woman's curves.  And this Subaru costs so little to keep happy, not like a typical relationship.

But is it cold?

She ruined dinner...but at least she bought him beer.  I'm just a bit surprised that he's happy that it's Schlitz.

I think Lindsay Lohan had a toothache...

It's amazing what ingredients were allowed in products.  Coca Cola used to have ingredients from the Coca Leaves until 1906.  German soldiers also used pep pills laced with cocaine during WWII. 

Get it? It's because they don't think they can drive.

I showed this ad to my wife and got a dirty look.  She didn't think it was very funny.  I find humor in something that is so non-PC.  The only way this could have been worse is if they showed a picture of the guy's wife...and she was Asian. 

Forget shaken baby syndrome, get your kid drunk!!!

So Blatz, which I have had the opportunity to drink  and enjoy, used to advertise that it was good for a nursing mother to drink Blatz Beer.  Interesting.  Maybe the remnants in the diapers helped someone come up with the handy rhyme that many Midwesteners are familiar with:  Blatz gives the Splatz.

Oh, the ashes on his red suit aren't from the fireplace. This explains it.

Using Santa to sell cigarettes!  Awesome.  These days parents complain that Santa shouldn't be used to sell Coca Cola.  "HO, cough, HO, cough, HO, cough, cough, cough, followed by an awesome throat clearing sound." 

It doesn't answer the question...Well, Is it Illegal?

I don't know about you, but I'm sitting here wondering what she did to deserve the implied violence.  And what does the postage meter have to do with it?  Is that going the be the weapon of choice?  Colonel Mustard in the Office with a Postage Meter?

Some may think she does it on purpose..

Things were different back in the day.  According to this window into the past, a husband would regularly spank his wife for misbehaving.  How dare she not store test her man's coffee.  I do wonder if she likes it though...